BangBrothers FC Injury Update

we do not wish to know where that finger has gone now do we.

BangBrothers FC would like to wish our old school rearguard Retz Fernando a speedy and healthy recovery from the "Finger Fracture" that he has sustained recently in the course of duty.

It is estimated that he will be out of action for a period of an "undetermined lenght".

He will most certainly be in our daily prayers.

Meanwhile, Bangbrothers FC's mercurial and talismanic winger Jerald Justin has encountered an injury setback. With grave aggravations to his knee due to an intensive accelerated recovery program, Jerald Justin has sadly torn both his ACL and MCL (ligaments) in his knee, and will be undergoing a quick procedure under the knife sometime before christmas. We at the desk of BangBrothers FC would like to also wish him a speedy and successful recovery. His estimated return is a lot more hopeful and positive, with a date sometime before the middle of 2010 set on the timetable.

Good news amidst the bad- our enigmatic goalkeeper Ganesh "Barthezella Fosterella" Kurup has been earmarked for a quick return between the posts sometime in the next three weeks... while evergreen soulster Kevin Gomez has already made his comeback a week ago at Temasek Secondary School, sporting a rather "fightclub-esque" hand aid in the process.

Before we bid each other a fond farewell, the squad and staff of BangBrothers FC would like to wish all our readers an early Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!

Be good and be safe.

Ta-Ta!

Ganesh Kurup : Player of the Month for August 2009

Heartiest Congratulations to GANESH KURUP, the BangBrothers FC Player of the Month for August after some fast and furious voting from BangBrothers FC Squad and WAGS.

His truly remarkable flying saves, unbelievable splits, and nanosecond reaction dives has been rewarded with this month's top prize.

Often maligned and with good reason, Ganesh "Barthezella Fosterella the Flying Elephant" Kurup proved his detractors wrong with some notably amazing performances between the sticks. Literally saving lost causes singlehandedly albeit with a potbelly in tow. An inspiration to all.

Well done to everyone nonetheless, the performances from every single squad member have been breathtaking to say the very least. Keep it up and remember that everyone's watching- YOU could be the NEXT BangBrothers FC Player of the Month!

Here's a mini tribute to our Part Time Schmeichel, Full Time Barthez, Ganesh Kurup.

BangBrothers FC 4 - 2 Dirty Chinese Men FC

Sunday, 1st November 2009
Springfield Secondary School
5pm Evening Kickoff
Warm Weather



Special Guest Writer: Sivaneson "the Anaconda" Krishnamoorthy



Starting Line Up: Retz Fernando, Jack, Kalai, Sashi, Paul, Sinnakannu, Biya, Bryan, Siva, Zen, Manoj.



The last time these two teams met, DCMFC had given BBFC a run for their money at the spanking new Meridian JC astro turfed field running out narrow losers. Needless to say they were back with a vengeance and donning their new yellow adidas kit, they were eying BBFC from the get go with one eye on revenge , and another on the supple Egyptian Butt that was not being played at left back.

BBFC has been unlucky lately, with several key players out due to long term injuries. New casualties Ganesh ‘Foster’ Kurup and Kevin ‘ Malek Awab’ Gomez are the latest to join Yao Siong on the injury list after late night fisting action has left both cousins out with a fractured finger and a fractured wrist respectively. BBFC did welcome back however,

resident "Rajnikanth Kalai" after a lengthy lay off, as well as trialist Sashi who were both playing in the heart of defence.

the Bangbrothers returning with some much needed reinforcements, featuring the bollywood superstars.

"Kalaivaanan Rajnikanth"

"Senthil Retz Fernando"

BBFC needed just less than 5 mins to take the lead. Neat one twos played between Jon, Biya, Siva, then Jon, and back to Biya, to Zen, to Manoj, as you can see the ball was being passed around with one touches, like the village bicycle that it was, finally finding its way to Zen who latched on to a through ball after running across the backline to beat the offside trap. The movement was brilliant, but the finish was better, with the keeper running out and closing the angle, our resident cumslut flicked the ball with the outside of his right foot and into the right corner.




1-0 BBFC

DCM FC pushed on and the unfamiliar centreback pairing of Kalai and Sashi was being called to task over and over again as BBFC absorbed the pressure. With a completely new backline, it was not surprising that there was lack of communication all over the f**kshop. The left winger running on to a ball played over the top was chased down by Kalai. With a flying kick, or an attempted flying kick, Kalai Kanth, with a was unable to clear the ball or put off the opponent, and with Retz rushing off late after realizing that KK was slightly off the pace after his long lay off, was unable to prevent the ball from being lobbed over him and into the net for the equalizer.




1-1 DCM FC




The match resumed and BBFC started pushing on again, wave after wave of attack against the opponents goal as another slick move between Manoj, Biya and Zen resulted in the former being through again. If his first finish was brilliant, this was absofuckinglutely fantastic. Receiving the ball and again ghosting across the backline, Zen stroked it with precise placement, giving BBFC the lead as the ball went in off the right post.




2-1 BBFC




Again, old habits die hard. With DCM FC pushing on and starting to take shot after shot at goal, and with our defence getting used to each other, the opponents received a corner midway through the first half. Lets just say our keepers have a problem with balls lobbing over their heads, and as the corner was whipped in, it curled and sailed over Retz “the Behemoth Mammoth Jammoth” Fernando into the goal. Even the last ditch attempt to head the ball off the line by Paul’s oiled Egyptian locks was in vain.




2-2 DCM FC




The second half saw the introduction of Mark “LoverBoy” Teo and Tim ‘ I’m so BuaySONG the legend’ Song into the heart of defence for Kalai and Sashi as BBFC reverted back to their usual 4-5-1 formation with Zen moving out to the right wing, Bryan on the left and with Siva back in centre midfield with Sinnakannu and Biya. The move brought more stability with Tim Song his commanding best. Whatever Mark missed, Tim cleared, whatever Tim missed… Tim dosen’t ever miss, he is always in control, there is no CTRL on Tim’s computer, Tim is always in CONTROL, but with Mark’s tenacious nature at scrapping for every ball, DCM FC were doomed as they hardly got a sniff at goal. With the midfield trio taking turns to sit, it allowed them to rampage forward over and over again providing the extra man in attack, a move that DCM FC was unable to cope with.




It was from one such move that BBFC regained the lead. Receiving the ball from Sinnakannu, Zen, now on the right wing, took the ball on and moved inwards. Spotting the overlapping run of Siva, he laid the ball into his path. DCM FC’s defence was now in disarray, getting stretched and deepthroated more than they would have liked as they failed to pick up Bryan ghosting in on the far side as he received a cross from Siva, the former taking it down and stroking it past the onrushing keeper.




3-2 BBFC



Back in the ascendancy, BBFC pushed on, but wasted chances were the name of the game in the second half. With DCM FC’s left back hobbling after a knock, a through ball was played to Manoj who was deep in the opponents half, and with the goal at his mercy, the old man of BBFC rocketed the ball high and wide. Very Disappointing. Another chance was fluffed as yet again, Sinnakannu playing a through ball to Siva played him onside as the bald headed one took on the defender and cut it back across goal, only for the old man just narrowly missing a toe poke with his outstretched foot. Now if he had slid in, that would be a different story. Very Disappointing.
A corner awarded to BBFC resulted in the 4th goal. Zen chan whipped it in, and though I have to side track, it has come to our attention that Bia Dunpheri, seems to notbe able to shoot with the ball on the ground. His goals have all come with the ball in mid air, with a flying kick or a header, but nothing with the ball on the ground. And as such, Bia run in near post and in mid air, ala KUNG FU HUSTLE, knocked the ball in the goal for the all important two goal cushion.
With a comfortable lead, Paul, the Egyptian extremist, was obviously feeling bored. With DCM FC’s right winger attempting to dribble and take him on, Paul, with a grab of the ass, swivel of the hips, and a flying kiss, managed to put off the opponent, out muscle him, and knock the ball through his legs to leave the entire left flank gaping open. However, the move that he pulled off was too good for him, and he jizzed in his pants, he attempted a 360, tripped, and fell on his pert butt only for the grand daddy of the team Manoj, the Mentor Menon ( MM Menon) to scream, THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR SHOW BOATING!. A line the latter should have heeded himself. Again playing and hanging off the shoulder of the last man, Siva spotted him with a through ball which sent MM one on one with the keeper. Bia and Zen ran up supporting him, was spoilt for choice. MM passed to CUMSLUT, CUM SLUT passed to Bia, Bia to MM, and MM back to Bia, all this with just the keeper to beat, and again, the ball played to Bia was on the ground, proving very difficult for our Muay thai Superstar who of course, no prizes here, ballooned the ball over the goal.

Full Time:

BBFC 4- DCM FC 2

Captain’s Note: It is good that we have most of our players coming back from Injury. With kalai back, it provides BBFC with the much needed stability in their backline. Injuries to Kevin and Ganesh, together with long term injury hit Yau Siong are unfortunate but the trio will be back around the same time. BBFC’s squad has looked stronger than ever. New trialist Sashi looks an adequate replacement in case defenders get injured and BBFC will continue to monitor his performances. Here is the first team squad of BBFC:

Ganesh Kurup: Goal Keeper
Phil McCormick: Rightback/Centerback/ Right Wing
Retz Fernando: Goalkeeper/ Centreback
Mark Teo: Centreback/ Left back
Kalaivanan Sadaiyappan: Centre back/ left back
Timothy Song Yong How: Centre back/ Right back/ defensive mid
Zen Chan: Striker/ left wing/ right wing
Jonathan Sinnakannu: Defensive mid/ centreback
Jon Tan (when he actually does turn up): Midfield
Bia Dunpheri: Attacking mid/ centreback/ rightback/ Left back
Paul Selheim: Left wing/ Left back/ Striker
Bryan Neubronner: Left Wing/ Right wing
Jerald Justin Ko Yau Siong: Right wing
Kevin Gomez: Left back/ rightback/ right wing/ defensive mid
Bradley Boon: GoalKeeper / Left back / Defensive mid / Winger / Striker
Sivaneson Krishnamoorthy: Defensive Mid/ Right wing/ Striker
Manoj Menon: Striker

BangBrothers FC 0 - 9 Geylang United Reserves

Saturday, 24th October, 2009
St. Wilfrid's Sports Complex
3pm Afternoon Kickoff
Warm Weather

BangBrothers FC 6 - 4 Balestier Boys

Sunday, 18th October, 2009
St. Wilfrid's Sports Complex
5pm Evening Kickoff
Warm Weather

BangBrothers FC 2 - 3 Guards FC

Saturday, 10 October, 2009
St Wilfrid's Sports Complex
7pm, Night Kickoff
Warm Weather

Special Guest Writer: Sivaneson the Anaconda Krishnamoorthy

Starting Line up: Ganesh, Matthew, Retz, Mark, Anthony, Kevin, Sinnakannu, Darren, Kenneth, Bryan, Siva.

In a rather makeshift team once again, due to miscommunication of playing dates, BBFC lined up in a make shift formation with 7 new players appearing for them. It was a family affair, as Mark “Loverboy” Teo roped in his brother, cousins, and potential future brother in law, Kevin his cousin, and Bryan his older cousin as
well.

There was a tentative start to the game and as they say, old habits die hard. BBFC started with some fluent passing but soon had fallen back to playing the harder ball, or not utilizing the flanks as per usual in the previous games. Bryan started out on the left wing instead, and had some good attempts at taking on players, only to be stopped either by the last man or by taking on one too many players. Sinnakannu, Kenneth and Darren were trying to string passes together in the centre midfield, but it was evident that the lack of communication during the early stages of the game was affecting their fluency. Disaster struck when a long ball pumped up the field was attacked by Guards FC. Mark “LoverBoy” Teo, under pressure after allowing the to bounce over him (a la Retz Fernando’s Vidic 201 Course in Defending), chased back with the opposite striker on his tails. Ganesh “Barthezella Fosterella Eh Eh” Kurup rushed off his line, and squeaked out Mark’s name, and the latter’s header back was just beyond the massive goalie who could just get a finger tip to the ball, allowing it to fall sweetly to the opposition to stroke into an open net.

1-0 GFC

The game resumed and as usual, nothing came out of BBFC’s passing, several shots from Bryan and Sinnakannu going off target when disaaster struck again. A long ball was played on the ground, with the entire BBFC backline calling for offside. However, replays showed the striker was on as he rushed towards goal. Ganesh “Barthezella Fosterella Eh Eh” Kurup, did a small jiggle, sidestep and a pirouette before rushing off his line allowing the opposite striker all the time in the world to pick his spot and finish sweetly into the bottom corner.

2-0 GFC

BBFC was in disarray as they were wondering what hit them. A culmination of adapting to new players as well as old habits were wrecking their game play. Before they knew it, another ball down the wing caught Anthony Teo off guard, with cousin Mark rushing in to cover. Lets just say Mark got abit too much bodily contact and upended the opposite number in the box. Penalty. The striker stepped up and stroked the ball coolly into the net past Ganesh “Barthezella Fosterella Eh Eh” Kurup. The worst possible half BBFC has ever endured in their history.

3-0 GFC

A second half pep talk and reshuffling of the team saw Kevin making way for Nicolas “The Bulldozer” Teo coming on and playing upfront with BBFC moving to a 4-4-1-1 formation. The results were almost instantaneous as BBFC started playing more on the wings, stretching the opponents wide open. They started to pin GFC back with the opponents beginning to kick long hopeful balls out each time they had possession. With Kenneth playing out on the wing, he and Siva were able to switch positions easily as a through ball to Sinnakannu was received with GFC’s backline dropping off him, each fullback not knowing who to attack as the forward line spread themselves wider than Jenna Jameson. The opening gap gave Sinnakannu an opportunity to stroke a cultured right foot shot past the goalie.

3-1 BBFC

Goaded on by the goal, BBFC pushed on and another sort of wing play stretched open the opponents defence. Allowing for Darren to play a through ball which Bryan, having one of his more decent games to date for BBFC, latched on to, only to be brought down by the goalkeeper. Team GURU Siva stepped up, and with his teammates telling the goalie to dive left or right, the bald headed one rammed the ball straight down the centre and on the ground.

3-2 BBFC

Revitalized by the goal BBFC poured on as GFC started to panic. Hurrying their clearances and pushing the ball away needlessly. Kenneth pushed in deep as Siva pulled out. The left back was caught in no man’s land as Kenneth laid on a ball Siva, who crossed a pin point cross to the on rushing Sinnakannu. The man had time to stop the ball. Scratch his balls. Probably have a wank. And take a shot. But he chose to do a Berbatov-esque scissors kick which went narrowly over the bar.
BBFC pushed on but time was their enemy as then ran out narrow losers in the end.
It is a worrying statistic that BBFC have since lost 3 games on the trot at St. WIlfrid’s which is proving itself to be a difficult venue for the team. Whilst even in these times of defeat, there have been some good takeaways, and some harsh lessons learnt, one can only expect BBFC to learn from these mistakes as improve as long term absences from the first team are expected to return in the up coming weeks.

Philip McCormick. White Supremacist, Colonizer.

"FUCK ASIANS. I FUCKING HATE ASIAN PEOPLE."